By Darren Quick
As viewers of South Park will know, holding farts in can lead to spontaneous human combustion. Unfortunately letting one rip in the marriage bed can lead to the equally unwanted result of the withholding of snuggling. Thankfully there’s now a solution in the form of the Better Marriage Blanket that soaks up offensive “flatulence molecules” to keep any marriage smelling rosy through the most destructive Indian curry.
So how does the Better Marriage Blanket work its magic? Flatulence molecules pass through the blanket’s cotton shell and are absorbed into a layer of activated carbon fabric, which is apparently the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons. If the fart-busting blanket lives up to its claims we wonder how long it is before we start seeing underwear made using the same material.
Coming in beige or white the Better Marriage Blanket is available now in Twin, Queen and King sizes priced at US$29.95, $49.95 and $59.95 respectively.